Thursday, March 10, 2005

OK it's time for another Prof. Water's update

Ok... today Professor Waters was wearing a button-up shirt and so he took on the persona of Formal-Waters... many of today's quotes revolve around that fact. 1. "In my present condition I can't even beat you up... I have to stand here and master my frustration" 2. "If I'm butt naked on Jackson street... and people come up and ask you, 'why is waters butt naked on the street'... you can say because the trial brief assignment is OVER. 3. "You're like the White Sox at the beginning of the season... you're not doing so well" 4. "Formal Waters does not take questions (Student: Wait, didn't you just call on me?).. and you can't camp outside of my door either.. Formal Waters wont stand for that... whereas Informal Waters would be like 'what's up, what's up'" 5. "You go and ask your mama 'what's with your emotionality' and she be like 'what's with you and what's with those drugs'" 6. "Did I tell you abgou the wedding I just went to? Just when they got to that part "till death do you part" the bride was like "till death do me part" and then the groom was like "forever... forever-ever... forever-ever-ever?" and I was like ya dude... and that's the kind of emotionality I'm talking about" 7. Telling a true story about his trip this weekend and simultaniously illustrating why weed-conspiracy laws/statutes are vague: "Me and my friend we're on our way to the disco-tech and got pulled over. I had my ID and $5 on me... because you don't want to take too much money to the disco-tech. That way you can be like 'oh man, I forgot to bring my money' and people will buy you free Coke-a-colas.. anyway I'm getting out my ID to give to my friend who then an give it to the police and they can be like uh-huh that's Waters... while I'm doing this I also pull out the $5 bill. The cop, who's watching me, asks if that's a $10 bill and I say no, it's a $5 bill and he says to me, 'are you going to use that to buy weed.' and I was like, 'no officer, my weed buying days are over... I'm not even accepting weed as gifts these days'... and that's why weed conspiracy laws are vague..." 8."As Informal Waters would say, 'Don't piss on my head and tell me its rain'" It's not so much that these quotes are funny.. but they're funny whenyou hear a distinguished law professor say them. That's why I feel the need to share.

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